I’ve entered IRON DM 2025! First up, a Troika-adventure with too many exclamation points!
For the uninitiated (i.e., me, a week ago), Iron DM is an adventure writing contest that has been taking place since ~2001. Contestants are given 24-48 hours to write 750-2000 words; all dungeons must feature at least six random, basically nonsensical ingredients provided by the judges. And when I say feature, I mean feature. You’ve got to find a way to make something like ‘Scary Stickers’ an irreplaceable throughline. Just make sure you leave room for the other five to seven ingredients!
Little did I know, headed into my first round, that my procrastinating meant I had to face the reigning champion:
Whizbang Dusyboots! IRON DM 2023!
Armoured in ignorance, I was less nervous than I might have otherwise been. Check out their competing entry (The Root of All Evil), or scroll down to read mine!
Ingredients
My first round ingredients were:
- Coin Tree
- Existential Threat
- Upper Decks
- Week of the Monster
- False Negative
- Mysterious Flowers
With these ingredients, I had a feeling Troika would fit best. 24 hours later (16 really, I was sleepy), Crashed in the Coin Tree was born!
Crashed in the Coin Tree
An Adventure for Troika
BREAKING NEWS: Troika City Port Authority reports harbour snafu!
The Golden Barge Existential Threat, known for dangerous cargo, ran aground on a strange silver tree, spawned from its own treasure hold. Rumour says the ship holds the False Negative, a legendary photograph that threatens the Autarchy’s existence.
Cross the City! Navigate the Week of the Monster’s carnival-riots! Scale the Coin Tree! Pluck mysterious metal flowers! Board the upper decks of the ruined Existential Threat; Troika, the Great City, depends on it!
The False Negative (Player-known information)
The last remaining photonegative depicting the Autarch in an embarrassing situation. It’s illegal to speak of, except to decry its deceitfulness. This taboo imbues it with intense magical power. Aristocrats wish it recovered. If published, it’ll weaken the Autarch!
Hooks:
Secure the False Negative (for sale or political leverage)
Clear the port
Investigate wreck, rescue survivors
Week of the Monster
This traditional seven-day Troikan festival involves monster masks, simulated crime, and real debauchery. It celebrates the Great Scam, when Troika convinced invaders they’d raided hell by mistake. The festival makes travel slow and dangerous. Count each delay; the PCs race against the Autarch’s forces!
Immediately, Mask Vendors accost the party. They won’t sell without ‘a sporting haggle’ (causing delay). Navigating the parades, riots, and wet t-shirt contests filling the streets creates three more encounters.
D6 Encounters (x3)
1. Werewolf-masked Shopkeepers pretend to rob themselves, throwing promotional loot to the mob, trusting their insurance to cover the giveaway. Delay earns a Pistolet, Velare, or strung coin necklace (d66sp).
2. Tower Wizards in Devil Masks cast Purple Lens on anyone looking serious. This enchantment causes optimism and delay.
3. Parchment Witches wear papier-mache human masks and lure unmasked victims into alleys with spellbooks (Flash, Jolt, Find).
4. Pickpocketed by Gremlins wearing Gremlin masks! They don’t ‘get’ the holiday. Chasing them causes delay.
5. Eyeball-masked culture critics (d3 Trolls) demand you delay. “Explain how your mask expresses your soul!” They flee if questioned.
6. Living Dead wrapped in toilet paper pose as mummies, boasting of ‘majestic pyramidal tombs’. Listening causes delay; not listening causes offense!
Coin Tree Roots
Harbour chaos! Golden barges hover, plasmic reserves dwindling. An enormous silver tree pierces the Existential Threat. Longshoremen debate solutions.
Delay >2: 2d6 Autarch-serving Man-Beasts arrive.
The tower’s origin is clear from its base; each silver pence aboard the Threat split like a seed, sprouting a silvery tree. Those metal growths fused into this massive structure. Test Climb to avoid delay.
Coin Tree Branches
A choice! Take the scenic route through Mysterious Flowers, causing delay? Or make straight for the Threat’s breached underhull, risking trouble with the d6 Harpies harvesting silver bark?
Mysterious Flowers
Amidst the branches, strange flowers bloom, enticing the curious and greedy. Harvesting causes delay. High branches grant access to the Threat’s upper decks.
Flowers
Gold – Attracts Jolt spells. Worth 100sp.
Copper – Test Shield to reflect Jolt spells. Worth 1sp.
Silver – Throw as Knives+1. Worth 10sp.
Tin – Sniff-potion: Assume Shape.
Lead – Sniff-potion: Immunity to metal magic (flowers, idols, Stormgulls).
Iron – Sniff-potion: Deal and take +1 damage for a day.
The Existential Threat
Lower Decks (Haz-Mat Hold)
Branches pierce the ruined hull. Bosun Soren Alsarte clutches a Golden Idol and babbles about life’s meaninglessness. He’s mad, but knows the False Negative’s canister is ruptured. Given purpose, he becomes a Henchman.
Coins near the Idol burst into metal trees (Spear damage within melee). Worth 10,000sp; tricky to sell, anathema to banks.
Upper Decks
Cpt. Camus and crew are frozen in violent death, eyes flashing irregularly like photobulbs (2:6 chance/round of casting Flash). Blind combat movement is dangerous; Test Luck or fall!
Stormgulls, bloated on conductive metals, cavort in the light. They attack as 3d3 Owls, cast Jolt, and can’t be blinded.
A locked door and blackened windows block the Captain’s Quarters.
Delay >2: It’s night when you arrive.
False Negative Finale!
In the Captain’s pitch-black quarters, a sunproof tent contains the False Negative’s film canister. It hides a micro-rupture! Exposed to light, the artifact’s magic flares, creating colour-inverted duplicates of the PCs.
These Negatives fight as Khaibits and take damage as Firebolt from Flash and sunlight. Their originals can’t harm them. Slain victims freeze, like a photo with flashing eyes. The Negative panics in light, but longs for rescue. Its shadows try explaining their strengths and weaknesses as they fight; they’re incapable of truth-telling. Once they’re dispatched, the rupture may be seen and patched.
If the unpatched canister falls, Troika itself is duplicated, threatening its existence.
Judgement
Check the judgment here. Spoiler: I did pretty well! I’m on to the second round.
I feel like I didn’t fully understand the judging criteria going in, so I hope to be an even stronger competitor going into round two. Tag along on the thread and cheer me on a bit, or join in next year.
These contests are a ton of fun. Y’all know I love a good game jam, but it’s nice to get feedback too. I’m still riding the high I got winning Cussa Mitre‘s Troika Monster contest. If this Troika Adventure has only whetted your appetite, check out our winning entry for that: the Lamp Ogre! Gabriel really outdid himself with the art.
Honestly, I love to host something like this sometime. Maybe after we get Blood Prairie out, we can host a little module writing contest or something. Would you be interested in participating? Leave a comment below!
Like Troika? Check out Drawn from the Margins. Like the blog? I’ve got everything from harsh words about OSE to kind words about Humblewood to weird words about Goblins. What’s your poison, weary traveller?